What is it?

No one wakes up with the urge to be a bad boss. Yet bad bosses exist in every company. During my +18 years career, I’ve seen three types of bad bosses on repeat :

– « everyday bad bosses » who were failing their team in every interaction and sensing that something was off

– « part-time bad bosses » who were failing their team sporadically and sensing that something was off

– « accidental bad bosses » who were failing their team on a few occasions that mattered and not sensing something was off

In the end, having a bad boss was a burden on the team members, and it decreased efficiency as well as morale simultaneously.

With time I moved up the ladder and challenged myself to be a good boss. It wasn’t easy. I’ve been classified as a good boss in 90% of the cases, but I know that in 10%, I was a lousy boss, way below my standards.

I discovered a pattern repeating; I was a lousy boss when I was not feeling well at my job ( in my case, only when I was reporting to a bad boss myself) and at the same time failed to communicate well with my team. I was self-obsessed. I tried to absorb it all and put a solid face to reveal any vulnerability, which most of the time came out as robotic and inauthentic. It built an invisible wall between my team and me. I was behind clouds, not seeing and not decoding correctly. I didn’t know what my team was thinking or feeling. I failed to exchange with my team, not acknowledging the downs and not celebrating the ups. Every day was a groundhog day in a way. There was a veil of sadness and a sense of worthlessness. Until the day I realized what was happening.

To turn things around, I came up with HIGHs & LOWs method, a set of tools for simple, fun, efficient team management.

I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.

Brené Brown


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